Into The Wild Blue Yonder?

Well, perhaps not the wild blue, but definately yonder. That's right, it's time for this blog to go into full production. I would like to point out that it was not the failing of society as a whole that has caused the proverbial shit to hit the fan, no the real poo flinger was a single individual. No zombies, no economic collapse, just one asshole whose inconsiderate actions has caused my life to completely change. It just goes to show how incredibly fragile ones life can be.

It's not all bad though. I don't have every surviving soul after my stash, not to say there won't be a few. Yes indeed, self defense tactics will most likely be necessary, more on that later. The Societal Structure is still intact, therefore, I have a support structure I can lean on, and I intend to use all resources available to me for the duration. I have a partner, and the two of us have a better chance for survival than either of us by ourselves.

That being said, we're not ready. At least, not as ready as we would like to be. Although I have no doubt that she and I, even seperate and with no gear to speak of, could easily make it alone in a city; even one we are completely unfamiliar with as the situation will be. Currently, we will have clothes, water, eating utensils, and a few odds and ends. Luckily, by happenstance, we do have a ride to our destination, and concequent proving grounds. This is good because we will be at least 1500 miles from our home town. That's where the line ends, however.

After careful consideration, we have decided that the test for our urban survival skills will be the Los Angeles Metropolis. Although I wouldn't want to be caught dead there (no pun intended) during a zombie invasion, it does present a few conveniences, and many more challenges, that we think will be a solid test of our skill, while still providing enough of a comfort zone that we are confident of our survival.

The test itself is simple. We arive in L.A. with a backpack and a bicyle. Spend at least one month homeless. After that, we scrounge up enough cash to find a place to stay, most likely with someone who is already established, find jobs, and rebuild. Once settled as such, our next target is a sail boat, though is not necessarily part of the test.

There is a time limit however, and failure to compete our task in a reasonable amount of time will result in the inevitable loss of a large collection of our personal effects. The time limit is not a set amount of time, but upon ariving, we will be storing any belongings not absolutely, or even remotely, necessary to our survival and daily function. Of course this implies a monthly fee, and with no real income, will be difficult to sustain.

There are other competitors in this survival challenge as well, namely the entire homeless population of L.A. It's a no holds barred race to the finish line, and perhaps away from it for our competitors, and I have no doubt that a good majority of them intend to make our race as difficult as possible.

After we arrive, and settle our storage situation, our first stop is the beach, of course. Perhaps not the best place to spange for food and cigarettes, it does give us a good, safe wall to put our backs to and observe our surroundings. Likelyhood is we will not be sleeping on the beach. It provides little if any visual cover, no shelter, and many potential risks, but there are several resources there that will help us in our journey.

One of the biggest issues in any survival situation is hygene. Ask any survivalist the most important necessities, and they will tell you "Food, Clothing, and Shelter." Perhaps in the woods, 100+ miles from any civilization, they would be right. Urban survival necessitates different basic needs, however, Hygene being the first. You have to remember that in an urban environment, social interaction will be your biggest challenge and source of income. Be that income Food, Money, Cigarettes, New Gear, or Repairs, unless you can manifest these things spontaniously you are going to have to aquire them through social interaction, and Hygene is the biggest obstical you will face. Most public beaches have showers, however, and if none are available, there are many stores nearby which have bathrooms. Beach houses in an urbanized area are very uncommon, and unless on the outskirts of town, most of this realestate is reserved for businesses by city planning, so an urbanized beach is ideal for keeping yourself clean.

The second issue, of course, is self defense. The beach location provides few, though significant, advantages. Firstly, it is a wide open space, providing visibility at great distances, thus giving defenders time to prepare. Second, they are heavily populated, and in an urban environment, you are less likely to be attacked as the amount of potential witnesses increases. Also, many beaches will have temporary storage lockers. Although generally relatively small, it provides a great place to secure a few items you do not wish to carry around, and they are relatively cheap. Lastly, the beach is not flamable, which is important, because I intend to take a flamethrower for self defense.

Yes, you heard right, a flamethrower.

It's not a "Real" flame thrower, by any stretch of the imagination, it will really throw flames, however. Enough to scare off most crackheads with a warning shot, and enough to injure, disable, and even kill wouldbe attackers. The idea is simple, take a squirt gun, such as a supersoaker, and cover the orange tip with aluminum foil, but leaving enough of the spickette exposed to maintain a solid stream. Then, attach an electronic lighter to the end such that the flame will cross the trajectory of the stream. Once you have your flame properly calibrated, you will need a triggering device for the lighter. I find guitar strings to work well in this regard, strong enough to maintain structural integrity, and flexible enough to provide easy trigger action. I should note that you want to trigger the ignition seperately from the load ejection trigger. This will provide flexibility that I will cover in more depth later, but I'm sure you can use your imagination. Finally, you want to prevent damage to yourself and the weapon. This can be accomplished by affixing an aluminum coke can around both the nozzle and the lighter, and cut in half to ensure ventilation so the fire can ignite.

After it is built, you simply need to fill it with a charge. Isopropyl or Rubbing Alcohol should be an excellent choice. Firstly, there is less risk of explosion, as the alcohol is less volatile than most flamable chemicals. Its also a very thin liquid, preventing weapon jams. It is vaporous, thus being easy to ignite, and providing the ability to as a pepper spray. That's right. The recipe is easy, simply mix alcohol, salt, and ground red pepper in a container, stir vigorously until all salt is disolved, and there are no clumps of red pepper. Close container and let sit for several hours to several days. The longer the better, so long as it is sealed air tight. When ready, strain through a cloth to remove ground red pepper. The Capsicum resin, I. E. the hot stuff, will remain in the alcohol. This way, you can pepper spray your opponents first, thus proving an attempt to apply non-lethal force, and then, if the assailant persues, you can set them on fire. Be sure that if you go this route, that the alcohol is still flamible before you put it in your squirt gun. Too many dilutants, such as the salt and pepper, or too much exposure to open air, or improper sealing of the storage container can all lead to loss of combustability.

Disclaimer: Have I built one of these? No, but I intend to. It may very well blow up in my face, or yours if you attempt to build one. It may not function when you need to rely on it for self defense. The alcohol may not ignite, the pepper spray may not burn, you may find yourself in a bad situation. It may not be legal. You may get your weapon confiscated, or be arrested, or worse. This is my stance on the matter: DO NOT MAKE ONE!!! This is an untested theoretical device that could potentially be dangerous or lethal even if it is created properly. If you build this device, you take all physical and legal responsibilities, to both yourself and others. I have a tendancy to be a dumbass. If you are a dumbass too, it's not my fault.

Still, it should work. Rubbing Alcohol, Squirt Guns, lighters, guitar strings, and aluminum were not illegal to possess last I checked. Then again, I'm not a cop.

Now that we've covered self defense, the last major issue of urban survival is mobility. Staying in one place for too long draws attention. We have miles of beach at our disposal, and therefore can change locations if one particular place becomes too hot. Further, we can go from relative wilderness to an urban, concreted environment, rich with resources not available in the "Wild" by simply crossing the street. We can select populated sections of the beach and relatively deserted sections of the beach as well. Travel, by foot or by bicycle, is difficult in the sand, but there are streets nearby to make things easier. Further the road directly in front of the beach is a major North/South state highway that can take us to just about every major metropolis in California if we were so inclined.

So that's the game plan. Hygene, Self Defense, Mobility. I'll also be blogging about our experiences there, and possibly interviewing other friendly urban survivalists that we meet, and posting video blogs from time to time as well. Stay tuned. We leave on the 31st!